sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
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he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
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i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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