he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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