Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
