Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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