i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Randomize
