you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
