It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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