Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
