I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Randomize
