They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
