I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Randomize
