I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
