who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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