The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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