i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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