His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
