I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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