i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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