Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
