I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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