he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
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I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
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It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
So much Jack, so little girl.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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