She's JV to your varsity
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
