So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
