I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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