Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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