But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
