Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
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