heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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