I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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