why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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