The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
