I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize