I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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