I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
