You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
