If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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