he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize