But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
