9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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