We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
