that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
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