I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
