Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
