i just wanna soil my oats bro
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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