I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
