i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
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I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
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Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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