Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
