i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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