Cold hands, warm shart.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Randomize
