My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
