If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
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