also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize