"it" just moved
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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