so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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