i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
