p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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