You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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