the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize