Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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