I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
