Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
You are a booty call, not a friend.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Randomize
