it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
