I intend to get homeless drunk
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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