remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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