Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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