Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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