How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
