All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
