I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
