So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
he high fived his dick after we had sex
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
